REVELATION REVEALED: LORD,give me a humble heart

"So He HUMBLED you,allowed you to hunger,and fed you with manna which you did not know nor did you fathers know,that He might make you know that man shall not live by bread alone;but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of of the LORD"Deuteronomy 8:3

"Lord,give me a humble heart like unto Moses".This is my earnest prayer this week before Abba,Father God.That is what exactly He did for this past nine months in my life.He really humbled me,allowed me to hunger and I am living my life constantly depended wholly unto Him to sustain me daily.The Lord need to humble me so that I will be a 'meek' man for this is much required to be a good minister of Jesus Christ.The Lord said :" Blessed are the meek,for they shall inherit the earth"(Matthew 5:5)

"Meek" and "Humble "are both synonymous.The Amplified Bible translate "meek"as being " mild,patient and long suffering" Humble or meek is the condition of the heart and God has many means to teach us how to be humble and meek in heart.One of such humble man was the prophet Moses of the Old Testament.He was entrust by the Lord as a capable leader to lead His people of approximately 1 million Jews out from the land of Egypt for 40 years to enter into the promise land,the Canaan land.The scripture testifies that of Moses :"Now the man Moses was very humble,more than all men who were on the face of the earth" (Number 12:3- NKJ).

Humility is one of the most desired attribute that God need to find in a man who He destine to be a leader.Humble is the opposite of proud and pridenes was the very downfall of Lucifer the chief Devil and Satan who was formerly an angel.I will now share with you my real life story of how the Lord "humbled"me.Since January this year (2011),I have decided in my heart to completely do a fultime ministry as a prophet and apostle of the Lord and I will tell you that it was not an easy decision to make in the first place.What I mean by this was that for the past 4 years,I was merely ministering as a 'part-time"minister because I needed to earn my living to maintain my status.As you know,living in Malaysia is costly.I need to consistently pay for my house rent which cost about USD150,then I have a fourwheel brand new car which I bought on loan with a monthly payment of USD500/monthly.I will also need to take care of my loved one and groceries.

I need constantly about USD1000 permonth to maintain my lifestyle as a businessman and as a "part-time "minister of Jesus Christ.I have eaten the best food,ate buffet in hotels and Fast food such as Mac-Donald,KFC,starbuck coffee and you name it.To maintain my constant monthly cost,I forced my self to work with the secular world now and then (Short term contract 3-6 months).I have "skills"in marketing and so its easy for me to find a job.Then in 2007,I decided to venture into a trading business as a consultant where I source for a product for many foreign companies oversea who want to buy any product in Asia region.The commission I get is lucrative,even at one time I earned about USD10,000 within a month as a consultant.

Professionally,I'm a Doctorate holder in Business and international business is one of my speciality.I have traveled to many Asian countries such as Indonesia,Hong Kong,China,Thailand and even one time stayed one month in Vietnam just to source for a product for my client.I was on road of success before the Lord "chasten"me because I am called to be His servant minister and not as a businessman.I am not saying that business is wrong but,I am just being ordain to become a full time minister of Jesus Christ

This was the car I bought last year. (2010) .A ministry car and an a business car.But its cost me USD500 permonth paying to the bank.I really love this car but I lost it after a year. My ministry name at that time was "LAMB Ministries"as you can see written the car front door.

Sincerely saying now, that while all seem to be good in my trading business,my heart was not a peace because I know that the Lord has called me to serve Him as a minister of the Gospel "fulltime"in which on many occasion I was unable to commit to such call.Then came the day when everything began to "crumble"last year.My business began to fail,my personal relationship was not in good term with my loved one and I was not even able to cover my monthly overhead as usual.Toward the end of December 2010,the Lord dealt with me so hard that I had to leave my last job as a contract consultant in Kuala Lumpur though the salary was good.After much prayer,I heard the Lord telling me to stop all my business and stop finding job.He wanted me to enter into a Fulltime ministry again like I did before in the 80's and 90's in which I really did on January 2011 this year.I will tell you that for three months,I really struggled to stay at my home office,without knowing where to source for my income.The LORD dealt with me so hard because He want to humbled my heart.

I was in Vietnam doing business,trading shipment for seafood 2009.I'm a CEO of my company LAMB Enterprise Inc.,doing international trading.

In vietnam ,I was sourcing for Dried seafood (Dreid Shrimp)for my Europe buyer 2009

My trip to China(Sen zhen)on business and mission -2009

My loved one left me because she cannot accept my decision and her parent were very angry because I am now "jobless"and cannot even look after such basic need and such status as a business man.She left me the day I decided to enter into a fulltime ministry again (January 2011).The hurt?Only the Lord know well how much my loved for her has rooted for years and it take the strength of the Lord to overcome such amount of pain and hurt.She demanded for a separation and her parent demanded for it as well (Her parent is a strict Roman Catholic)Her family was not favoring me as a minister who is not a Catholic.I have beg her not to leave me but she determine to leave me anyhow.And so I have no choice but to let her go.She left me with a statement :" Do not pray for me,I do not like to be in the ministry and I don't like to go on mission field".

It took me over three months to recover from my pain and I just pray that she will be happy with her new life elsewhere.Since then the Lord has been dealing me on this matter that I need to pray for a partner that has the same spirit ,same faith in Christ and most of all,she must be the chosen one of God.(I have been praying for such woman till now).I was humbled,broken to pieces,financially broke,lost my car,lost a woman,left alone and in loneliness with no companion,no secure job,my credit card cancelled,with much unpaid loan/credit,my company account closed and most of all I went through a tremendous spiritual overhaul for over six months until I lost over 15 Kilogram due to consistent fasting,prayer and sleepless night.I went down to a great "emotional breakdown"for almost three months and I can even hear the devil whispering to my ear to go and kill myself or to commit suicide.January to April of 2011 was the most hard part in my life and if not because of the strength of God the Father,I wouldn't survive to be a strong apostle today.BUT I believe that God will somehow deal with much trial and struggle in order to humble our heart before He can lift us up to take such a high responsibility to be a capable leader in the kingdom of God.

So my dear readers,this is me being human now and I do not hide anything from you.It was the strength and the comfort of the Holy Ghost that I can still minister and even determine to follow the Lord and His divine call in my life.I cannot run away from His call.I cannot become a" businessman"and just leave this ministry to do something else.I am called to be His servant and no matter how I have resisted and even tried to run away from His divine call,the Holy Spirit has His own way to bring me back to His will.Where can a run from the Lord?Let God's will be done in my life.So be it LORD!

Here I am on my ministry Home office(APM Network Asia) on my desk (August,2011) .Within nine months ,I have written three books from this desk.This is my website www.apostleprophetministries.co.nr

Now that I am single again,Some may ask me,do I need a woman in my life or do I have any desire to find one? I will tell you sincerely,I do.I need a faithful companion but a real woman of God who understand my ministry calling and just accept me as a man who need to be love and taken care of.I need someone who fully understand my ministry call as well,who are willing to suffer just as I am and serve the Lord without any complain.As you know,serving the Lord independently as an Apostle is not an easy ministry.Living by faith and not knowing where the next meal is gonna be tomorrow is a great challenge.But for the last 9 months,the Lord has miraculously supply my need on time.

Being single again,I am humbled by doing house cleaning almost daily.I love tidy house.Here I am doing house cleaning yesterday while Asher my poodle watche me at the corner (Sept 15.2011).Camera on auto snap.

Papaya taken from the neighborhood and I cook as my vegetable of the day

Being single again at 46, make me learn a lot to be humble.I need to wash my own cloth,cook my own food,buy groceries and even clean my own house (rented house -Act 28:30) which I never done that too often for many-many years.For nine months now,I only eat rice,much vegetable and fish.I now have to budget and not to buy expensive groceries.Living on the daily food will demand me to sustain myself only with some basic food.Bread and egg are my constant breakfast and though I now don't eat Mac-D or KFC much due to my tight budget,but I am happy that I have my peace with God to be in the fultime ministry again.Many nights I felt so lonely and and my pet ,a poodle dog has been my good companion.Every each day or night I will be posting many articles of facebook and chating or call conference with all my associate minister around the world and many have become my good friends all these months.Some of them are led to donate and some are touch to buy my Ebooks and thus I can survive through this believing that God the Father uses them to bless me and meet my need to survive each month.

The Lord has also given me many sons and daughters in the Lord in the ministry and I am constantly in contact with them to pray,to support and to give wise counsel.I praise the Lord that He has so far never failed to protect,keep me well and supply my need miraculously.I never said that I am not in need but God always has His way to supply my need.Many time I go without much food and nourishment for many days because I do not have a budget.I even lost almost 15 kg in a month at one time,because of such lack but all this is part of such trial and test of Faith to humbled me that I may know that God is my strength and I must consistently rely on Him and His grace each day.Therefore,I say this again now:"Father God,give me a humble heart like my Lord Jesus Christ "

Being single again at 46,may the Lord send me good companion,a chosen woman of God.